A Cup of Coffee...
As I think about Bill and my time with him, I remember the first time I ever met him and Karen at their house. He made a pot of coffee and we had coffee at the kitchen table and just talked about how Noah and I met at Margi's wedding, from the very beginning he was so easy to talk to! And, from that moment on I will always remember Bill when I drink coffee because he always made a pot of coffee after dinner and we would all just sit at the table, slowly let our food digest, and drink a cup of coffee with dessert, usually cookies or the favorite Gingersnaps! Usually these "after dinner coffee sessions" were full of belly laughs from something Noah or Bill or Ben would bring up- I used to love watching Noah and Bill laugh together really hard, and now when Noah laughs really hard like that, I still think of Bill, because he looks just like his dad when he does that! Bill had such a genuinely caring soul, and he loved to talk you through things! One thing I always admired about him was that he was always so interested in talking about how my job was going, and if I was struggling at all with my sales, etc. He could relate so well to me with everything because he sold for Design Line for so many years. And, it was so refreshing to visit with him and Karen as a couple because they had a very loving marriage, and we always enjoyed our time visiting with them about marriage, life, jobs, frustrations, anything!!
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| One morning when Bill & Karen came to TX, we had breakfast and I wanted to take a picture of Bill with his coffee so I could remember it. So glad I have this picture- as crazy as it sounds I can hear Bill talking when I see this picture of his hands with his coffee cup! |
"Pa Vennes" the Chef...
Bill really enjoyed cooking, and talking about different recipes that he had tried, or read about. When Bill & Karen would come to Austin to visit us, he always wanted to go to Whole Foods and look at all the fresh produce. He was always amazed at all the different peppers Whole Foods offered, as well as their fresh fish selections. He always told us that when he retired some day he would like to work in a grocery store and visit with shoppers about how to prepare different meals, etc. Along with loving to tour the Whole Foods, Bill was an excellent cook. And, he always amazed me at how NEAT he was while he was preparing the food! I've got food everywhere as I make things, "multitasking" as I like to call it, but Bill was very neat, chopped things up at a good pace, and the kitchen never looked in disarray! He was always the chef in the kitchen when we would come over for holidays. He would have his Holiday Grog(apple cider/wine mix) on the stove ready to sip, cheese and crackers with lil' smokies were always ready for a light lunch before the main course for dinner! Thanksgiving we could always count on his Turkey and Famous Sausage and Apricot Stuffing, and then at Christmas his Prime Rib was always so good! Whenever Bill & Karen came to visit in Austin, Bill always loved to go out to eat with us, and he would always discuss the different flavors of his meal. Noah and I love to cook together, and we love to eat out at restaurants and try new things, so we always enjoyed seeing Bill's reaction to his meal at our favorite restaurants we took him, and we loved exploring restaurants in Austin with him. One of his favorite things he would order at breakfast with us were the "Papas Fritas" - I can hear him in my head ordering this dish. :) Here are some pictures of some of our favorites:
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| Whole Foods cupcake Selections |
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| Noah made Burgers from this Whole Foods Stop |
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| Like Father Like Son |
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| Grilling up the burgers |
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| On the Patio at our old Apartment in Austin |
"Pa Vennes" Growing Grapes & Wine...
Bill had a hobby of growing grapes, and I feel lucky that we got to be apart of learning how to "train his grapes" when he came to visit us one time in Austin. We knew that Bill enjoyed growing his grapes, and we enjoy wine too, so we decided to take Bill & Karen to Fredericksburg, TX, and go to one of the vineyards that Noah & I always enjoyed going to on the weekends. It was so fun because Bill, being the very friendly and inquisitive man that he was, asked if he could see the grapes and how they train them. They gave us a tour and answered all of the questions that Bill had about training the grapes, etc. This year Bill's' grapes were doing the best they ever have!! Below are some pictures of our winery tour that weekend.
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| our wine tasting with cheese and crackers, I can hear Bill explaining the wine to us here! |
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| Bill took this picture of us. |
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| Heading out to the grapes |
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| The lesson on training grapes |
"PA Vennes" "The most Interesting Man in the World"
Bill Loved these commercials and would have a good Laugh to tears at times reciting them.
I heard him repeat and laugh at most of the ones in this video clip below. Just hearing this video clip I can picture Bill laughing his famous Belly Laugh that his sons inherited and I absolutely LOVE.
CLICK HERE: MOST INTERESTING MAN IN THE WORLD
When I remember Bill, these are the things I think of. Although there are so many other things he enjoyed doing, like riding Harley, hanging with the guys in his clubhouse, painting, travel, these are the memories I actually shared with Bill. And as I talk about him with other family members or friends, I realize that we all saw Bill differently. One thing we all saw the same was that he loved everyone equally, always saw the good in people and situations, and he was a man of very strong Faith, which is something I always admired about him. He was never afraid to profess his faith and always talked about how God would carry him through his illness, and carry each of us through it as well. I can remember one very special moment with Bill on the last visit that Bill & Karen made to Austin. We went to a Tapas restaurant because Bill enjoyed Tapas, and when we were eating Bill shared something very special with us. At this point Bill never talked about his cancer at all, but for some reason at that moment he stopped our lunch and said " I want you to know if God takes me today, I will be OK and YOU will be OK" - I remember it hurt to hear him say those words, but it was just another way that Bill professed his trust throughout his whole illness. He never felt sorry for himself, or even let on that he was in pain because he never wanted anyone of us to feel bad or worry for him. In that way alone, I admired him so much! Although if he would have cried, or been upset, we would have completely understood, he just never allowed us to see that. He was such a strong soul, and his unwavering faith through it all really amazed me! He had every right to be angry, and upset, and sad, and maybe he did feel all of these things, but he always told us that it would be OK.
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| SO THANKFUL for this picture! |
As the days drew nearer and Bill became much more sick, I really had a hard time trying to understand why this wonderful man, so loving, so young, so faithful had to go through this pain, and why did my husband have to lose his dad so young! I remember asking Noah this on one occasion, and Noah said, "I know, but why am I any more deserving of my dad, than somebody else, its not in our control and it will be OK"- and to hear Noah say that I thought, wow, that is something Bill would have said. That is something that Bill taught my husband- to be so SELFLESS! And, they are right, and I'm so glad that even though Bill is gone, I know that a piece of Bill is in each one of his kids. I know I see it in all of them, especially in Noah because he is my husband, and I'm so thankful for that little bit of Bill I have in Noah.
Which brings me to what I learned through all of this pain:
First:
Whenever I am frustrated because someone is driving too fast, or tailgating, I take a moment to pray for that person because you don't know where the person is going, maybe they are in a hurry to reach a family member that may not make for them to say goodbye, or maybe they are just crazy fast drivers :)- but this happened to us when Noah left to "go to work-which he really didnt want to do but felt he should" in the last week of Bill's life- I rode with him to try to tell him not to :)- On our drive Margi called us and said that Bill was going down hill fast and we were about 45 minutes away- Our world stopped, life stood still, and all we wanted at that moment was to get home to be there with Bill- We sped past many cars, our hearts racing because at that moment NOTHING else mattered- we made it home and Bill was ok for a few more days, but as I reflected back on that day, God taught me never to JUDGE the reckless driver tailgating me- while they may be just driving reckless, they may also be at a moment like Noah and I found ourselves in- while we were not driving wreckless, but we were driving fast and passing many peoplewho may have felt we were "reckless". SO, now when someone speeds up behind us, (which has happened alot ironically- maybe we are more sensitive to it now and notice it because it brings back memories) but we take a moment to honestly pray for that person, as they may be in a hurry for reasons we were, or they may not, but regardless, we have more Grace for them and it serioulsy always reminds us of how we felt that day.
Secondly:
God taught me that he gave each sibling unique gifts and roles within a family for a reason- because it takes so many different personal gifts to make a family work. And, I saw this in Noah's family when we were in the hurt and pain of the last week. When Bill got so sick that he couldn't be as independent as he wanted to, their family really came together in such a unique way. Each day that week I would ask God to be present in my day, so I could really see HIM through this terrible time, and I feel very blessed to what God shared with me the last few weeks. I saw my husband in a completely different way then I had ever seen before. Bill was not able to do very much independently although he still wanted to physically walk to and from the places he needed to go, and Noah really became a caretaker to his dad. He slept by his dads side on the couch and helped his dad feel as independent as his dad wanted to in his last few days. The last week was intense, it was sad, it was physically draining, but Noah did not want his dad to feel alone, or too weak or helpless at all. It was not "his dad" to be helpless and whether it was being able to sit in the chair or on the couch, or go to the bathroom, Noah wanted to help his dad feel as independent as he ALWAYS was until it was no longer possible. These times Noah spent in the middle of the night with his dad are some truly wonderful memories he made too- although it was hard, and near the end of Bill's time with him, Noah still was making memories with his dad. I saw Margi in the same way, she was like a nurse, wanting to care for her dad as much as she could do, and she also was a "do-er"- constantly keeping the laundry done, the food made, and she just wanted her dad to eat a healthy home-cooked meal up until he couldn't eat food anymore- she was the chef of the family. Ben's gifts were just as important and early on he said "I like to do tasks" so Ben cleaned the entire garage and club house the whole week and he put the hospital bed together, he moved chairs, he made an amazing memorial video of pictures of his dads life, etc. Ben also did a good job of keeping things on the lighter side at times, which was very much needed! :) And, although each siblings role was not the same, each one of them respected the other persons role and it was amazing how well everything went. I know with all my heart that Bill felt so loved, so thankful for his family, his wife, so proud of his children and so cared for by all of them, that when he finally did go home, he did so very peacefully. What I once thought would be a scary and very traumatic thing to watch, became a very peaceful and comforting time. Although we all had great sadness and continue to deal with it daily, I'm so blessed to be apart of such a wonderful family.
I would like to share some of the pictures of the past few months with you to tell the rest of the story of why I know Bill felt so loved in his last few months of his life:
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| In March it had just snowed a ton, and it was really nice out so Noah, Ben, Jaiden, Gracie and I built a HUGE snowman! it was taller than Noah! |
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| I love this picture! Shows the love "in sickness and in health" |
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| Ben won this 4 wheeler at a fishing contest! Everyone outside at Easter. |
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| Time to find the Easter Baskets |
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| That crazy bunny hid Gracies under the tree house! |
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| Kites from Grandma & Grandpa! |
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| I don't have any before and after pictures but this is the super clean garage at Easter that Ben had spotless! |
To end this I would like to say that there is not a day that goes by that I don't think of Bill. He was a very special man and touched the lives of so many people. I thank God for having the chance to meet him and get to know him as much as I did! He taught me to truly enjoy all the small things, never take anything for granted, always enjoy a good laugh, and praise God for everything in life! On this wonderful week of Thanksgiving, I can't think of a better way to celebrate than to thank you for all the memories Bill, I love you and miss you very much!
"IT IS WELL, WITH MY SOUL"
